Silhouette
A SongFic by Aqua. Original Artist: Owl City A SongFic about Breezepelt. I wrote this because I believe that people are not always what they seem. Sometimes we need to look deeper into the hearts of the people that we despise and realize all they've ever wanted was love, and that if we would just give them a chance, they may be able to change. ---- I'm tired of waking up in tears 'Cause I can't put to bed these phobias and fears I'm new to this grief I can't explain But I'm no stranger to the heartache and the pain I was sick of the hate that surrounded me. Maybe if the Dark Forest ruled I would be respected instead of cast aside and hated for my father Crowfeather's disloyalty. I flexed my claws in anger as I thought of Crowfeather. He was a traitor and deserved no mercy. And what's more, he hated me. A sharp thorn pierced my heart. Nightcloud hated me, Crowfeather hated me, my half-siblings even hated me. Every morning I woke up in tears from my horrifying dreams. My clanmates laughed whenever I tried to tell them how I felt. Maybe if they noticed the scars on my legs, they would realize the truth. No, they aren't from thorns or thistles. They're not from enemy warriors. No, these scars were from my own claws. The fire I began is burning me alive But I know better than to leave and let it die The Dark Forest. Sometimes I wondered why I ever joined them. But I couldn't quit now. I knew better. Although the Dark Forest was eating away at my soul, if I tried to leave I knew that Tigerstar would destroy me. Nobody leaves the Dark Forest. Ever. So there I was, in the midst of battle. I spotted Lionblaze's yellow pelt dashing through the swarm of pelts. Rage took me over and I raced towards him, ready to kill. Him and his siblings are the source of all my misery. They all hate me and if they had never been born...well then I would have never been shunned or called bad-blooded. I pounced on him, the element of surprise on my side. I pinned him down, then hissed into his ear, "One by one the clans will fall, starting with your death!" I lunged toward his neck, but suddenly a flash of black knocked me off of him. I looked up to see; of course; Crowfeather. "Stop this madness!" he growled. "Why should you care about anything I do?" I hissed. "You hate me!" "No I don't!" Crowfeather said. "Nightcloud put those ideas in your head. All I've ever tried to do is help you!" "Yeah right!" I growled. "You've hated me ever since I was born." Crowfeather hissed and pinned me down. I prepared to feel his teeth in my neck, but it never happened. Instead Crowfeather hissed this into my ear: "Leave now Breezepelt. You have no place anywhere anymore." He released me and I dashed into the bushes. I'm a silhouette asking every now and then "Is it over yet? Will I ever feel again?" I became a nothing. A nobody. I lived by myself and only held conversations with the stars. Nobody cared about me. I doubt that even Crowfeather missed my company. I wondered if I would ever feel love or happiness again. Ever since I had left my legs only became more scarred. I hated myself for being such a fool. I wandered wherever my paws took me. I had no place I belonged anymore. It was all over. The Dark Forest had lost. And I had been on the losing side. I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone So I watch the summer stars to lead me home I hissed in frustration as the squirrel escaped my paws. I expected someone to say some smart remark, like "What's the matter Breezepelt, squirrels too fast for you?" But then I remembered that I was all alone. I felt an ache in my chest, and I realized that I missed the companionship the clan had given me. No. I told myself.'' You don't miss them. All they ever did to you was hurt you.'' But I can't help missing the few seconds in my life that Crowfeather was proud of me, and the few times I had went to the gathering and experienced the awe of seeing the leaders in the Great Trees. I'm sick of the past I can't erase A jumble of footprints and hasty steps I can't retrace The mountain of things I still regret Is a vile reminder that I would rather just forget I wish I could just start over. ''I thought regretfully. ''If only I could just start it all over, then I wouldn't have done all this. I can't believe that I did so many things without even thinking about what would happen. Now everyone hates me...including myself. Nobody could ever forget what I had done, and nobody could ever forgive me in the clans. I missed knowing that if I was ever in trouble, my clanmates would protect me. But I could never go back. I flexed my claws and hissed. But there was one thing I could do. I can get revenge. The fire I began is burning me alive But I know better than to leave and let it die I hadn't wandered far from the clan territory; it was easy enough to get back. I stared down at the lake and hissed when my eyes roamed to Windclan territory. Windclan must pay for what they had done. The whole clan must pay. They made me this cold, hating cat by crushing every bit of hope I had. Now it was their turn to be weak. You're only proving Crowfeather right. ''A voice in my mind nagged. ''You're proving that you are the monster they all think you are. Shut up! ''I thought angrily. ''If they will not forgive me, I will not forgive them. I'm a silhouette asking every now and then "Is it over yet? Will I ever smile again?" In order to attack and defeat a whole clan, I would need many more cats. I went out in search of cats who, like me, hated the clans. It wasn't hard to find them. Whether or not the clans realized it, they had made many enemies. Finally, I felt that I had enough cats to assemble an attack. I jumped onto a rock and the clearing fell silent. It felt good to be in charge, to be respected. Windclan never even respected me as a warrior. These cats were respecting me as their leader. "Tonight we attack!" I said. The clearing erupted in excited yowls. I flicked my tail and the clearing once again went silent. "We will get revenge on the cats who have done us wrong. They will pay!" I yowled. The clearing was filled with victorious howls, as if we had already won the battle. Then we charged out of camp. I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone So I watch the summer stars to lead me home I yowled, "ATTACK!" and then cats began to flood into the clearing. Windclan warriors dashed out of their dens, still half asleep, and totally oblivious as to what was going on. After my warriors scratched them a few times though, they leaped into action and fought back. I saw the familiar black pelt in the crowd. All the hate and pain that I had ever experienced vented out as I leapt towards Crowfeather and pinned him down. "You!" Crowfeather hissed, his eyes wide with suprise. "You will pay!" I growled. "For what?" Crowfeather said. "For every time you ignored me when I did something good! For every time you rolled your eyes and walked away! For every time you and mom fought and totally forgot that you had a son! For every time you wished that you were still with that freak Leafpool! FOR BEING A HORRIBLE FATHER!" I screeched. 'Cause I walk alone No matter where I go I lunged towards his neck, my jaws wide open. But somehow I couldn't bring myself to close my jaws and bite. I looked at him, laying there, helpless. He wasn't even struggling. He was just holding still with his eyes closed, waiting for the bite. I drew my jaws away from his throat. Killing my father was not going to make my burden any less. Destroying Windclan wasn't going to make me feel any better. I stepped off of Crowfeather. "You're not going to die today." I said simply. Crowfeather looked up with pure shock in his eyes. Our eyes were locked for a split second... Then I ran away. 'Cause I walk alone No matter where I go I cut through Riverclan territory and went up to the place where the clans had first seen the lake. I turned around and looked down at the shimmering pool of water. I would miss the companionship of my clanmates, and the thrill of hunting for a clan and knowing that you were important to them. But my path went another way. It was time to move on. I didn't belong here. I turned around and walked away. And I never looked back. 'Cause I walk alone No matter where I go I trekked for days on end, every day taking me further from the lake. I wasn't sure where I was going, or what I was doing. All I knew was that I had to get away from the clans. I had no place there anymore. One day I reached the mountains. They loomed above me, tall and menacing, as if daring me to try to climb them. I decided that since I was in no rush to get anywhere, I would go around the mountain. That decision would change my life. I'm a silhouette asking every now and then "Is it over yet? Will I ever love again?" There was a loud rumbling noise and I looked up to see large rocks tumbling down the mountainside. I screeched in terror and ran, but the rocks were much faster than me. I dodged a boulder than nearly dislocated my shoulder. Suddenly one hit my leg and I could feel the bone crack in two. I struggled to escape but the boulder was too heavy, and I couldn't slip my leg out from under it. Another one crushed my paw. After a while the rumbling stopped. The rockslide was over. I laid down and wept. I would never be able to love another cat. I missed Crowfeather's smile and even Nightcloud's occasional purr. Now I could never see them again, and even worse, I was crippled. I struggled out from underneath the boulder, then limped away, determined to never care for another living being again. I'm a silhouette chasing rainbows on my own But the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone So I watch the summer stars to lead me home Oh, I tried to forget about the clans, forget about Crowfeather and forget about everything. But the thing is, it's really hard to forget the cats that hurt you and the cats that loved you. And the cats that you loved but they hurt you. At least I had shown Crowfeather that no matter how much he hated me, I still cared about him and could never kill him. Maybe now he is regretting everything that he had said and done. I hope so. But I will never find out. I don't belong there. I don't belong anywhere. ''I watch the summer stars to lead me home. '' I guess I'll always be a wanderer. Category:Aquamarine1212's Stories